Made for Friendship by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL012000/REL012100/REL012070
Publisher: Crossway
Published: 2018-06-29T00:00:00+00:00

Doing Things Side by Side

Second, friendships feed on shared experience—life on life and side by side. Near the end of his life, the author John Stott was asked, “When do you feel most alive?” How would you answer that? Here are the three things that made him feel most alive: public worship, enjoying nature, and human friendships. “I’m grateful to have many friends,” he said, “and very grateful to have the opportunity to enjoy their friendship, and to do things with them.”7 I love how he expressed it so plainly: “and to do things with them.” A large part of friendship consists of simply doing things together.

Of course, in order to “do things” together, we have to be together. But how do we make space in our full schedules? Sometimes we don’t have to. We can invite friends into what we already do. I usually tune into NBA games once playoff season comes around. Rather than watching alone, I invite friends over to watch the game together. What shows do you watch? Do you go for walks? When do you go to the store? Invite a friend into these activities.

The best way to create space for closer relationships is to establish rhythms. Much of the time I spend with friends happens as part of a rhythm in my schedule. Taylor and I grab coffee every other Tuesday after work. My wife and I invite people over for dinner or dessert on Wednesdays. Each July I take an extended weekend to go on an outdoor adventure with long-time friends. Every three or four months I get together for an evening with three friends who live a few hours away.

Find your own friendship rhythms. Establish rails for your relationships to ride along over the long haul.

What about when it’s too hard to establish a rhythm of getting together? In these cases, friendship also grows from spontaneity mixed with sacrifice. That’s what my friend Jonny showed me a few years ago. He had Labor Day weekend open, and the thought flitted into his mind to visit me. But he lives in Maryland and I live in Indiana so, after looking up the distance, he said to his dad, “I was going to visit my buddy, but then I saw he was eleven hours away.” His dad replied, “And why aren’t you going?” Jonny thought for a few seconds. “I’m not really sure. . . . I guess I’ll go.”

Friends do things together. It’s not complicated. And the best part of friendship is not the doing but the being. When you’re with good friends, just being together is more important than whatever it is you’re doing.

Getting Practical

If you plan to watch a movie or sports, invite a friend over to join you. Save a certain show for watching with a friend or in a group.

With the next book you plan to read, invite one or more people to read it and to meet a few times along the way for discussion.

If you’re a parent with young children at home, invite someone to join you on a walk or a visit to a park.

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